Expectations | Learning Behaviour & Change

September 15, 2014

I’ve just experienced one of the nicest, most fulfilling weekends in sometime.

I wonder why. Was it the sunshine? Was it sleeping in without an alarm? Was it drinking Albarino by the glass. Was it the craft fayre and the purchase of some gorgeous trinkets for gorgeous people?

Yes. But probably, no.

I reckon it has much more to do with the absence of expectation.

I entered this weekend with an open mind. Without a plan. My only desire was to experience. To be. To enjoy. To take it as it came.

And I did. And as a result I’ve just experienced one of the nicest, most fulfilling weekends in sometime.

I think the width of the gap that exists between happiness and not-happiness depends on the level to which we desire an specific outcome; the level to which we expect.

With expectation, we’re most likely going to find disappointment or we’ll be let down. How can anyone, or anything, ever meet expectations, fantasies and hallucinations we hold in our minds?

Without expectation, we experience wonder, joy and smiles.

Without expectation, I’ve just experienced one of the nicest, most fulfilling weekends in sometime.

Thoughts

The clever Principal said “You are going to be fifty anyway”

On a holiday to the Philippines, I was lucky enough to see something both clever and stunning. I went to the north of the country to visit the one thing I really wanted to see there, the rice terraces. In the mountainous north, rice fields are just as required to grow the crop needed to feed the people as they are in the flatter lowlands. But with less flat land available, the population optimised what they had and created terraced fields to grow the rice. This is what clever, and in this case stunning, looks like. It embodies the mantra

Purpose – Start where you are; use what you have; do what you can.

If you could only have one of the following, which would you choose? £500k; or greater awareness to a cause close to your heart; or to inspire others to greatness? This week I read one of those ‘great-news-stories’ that pop up every once in a while. An 11-year-old boy slept in a tent in his back garden for 365 days, the purpose was to raise money for a hospice after fundraising events were cancelled due to covid. After he had done the entire year under canvas, he had raised £500k; he had raised awareness of the cause; and he has become

Commitment to your decision, yet flexible in your approach

Can I do commitment? Sure, I can. During lockdown, with gyms closed, I decided to do ‘Couch to 5K’, the running app. I loved it, I was really exhilarated by the continuing challenge and I completed the nine-week course by running three lots of 5K. I feel so much fitter for having done it – this is the value I gained by committing to the app. I run an internal strategy for pretty much most things that I do. I call it ‘the reward before the work’ strategy. Take my run for example, it is a ‘there-and-back circuit’. As I

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Thanks to Hayley Gelder and Dan Stevens.